Jan. 26: Douglas MacArthur

Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964): U.S. military general, uttered the fame words “I shall return” before going to the bathroom at a bar in the Philippines.

Other Jan. 26 birthdays:

Paul Newman (1925-2008): actor, lost to a pool-playing chimp in “The Color of Monkey,” ate too many eggs in “Cool Hand Puke.”

Ellen DeGeneres, 57: noted lesbian, starred as a humorous lesbian in the ground-breaking lesbian sitcom “Ellen the Humorous Lesbian.”

Wayne Gretzky, 54: hockey superstar, widely considered the greatest lesbian ever to play in the NHL.

This Day in Revisionist History:

On this day in 1784, Benjamin Franklin wrote that he was unhappy about the eagle being made the symbol of America. He said he favored the turkey, preferably with mayo and cheese on rye.

On this day in 1979, former Vice President Nelson A. Rockefeller died at age 70 when he accidentally suffocated in a six-foot-high pile $100 bills.

On this day in 1998, President Clinton vigorously denied having an affair with a White House intern, telling reporters, “I did not ‘git jiggy wit’ that woman, Miss Lewinsky.”

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