Gangsta horoscope

Gangsta horoscope

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Consult members of your posse before making an important decision. Don’t let no fool jam you up. Drink several 40s at dusk to relieve tension.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Your beeper brings news of lucrative business possibilities. Take your favorite ho out to dinner to celebrate. Avoid drivebys.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Make sure your back is covered if pulling a liquor store job. Don’t pay attention to no crazy-ass bitch. Demand your props from new acquaintances. Word.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Pack an extra piece if leaving the ‘hood today. A poster of Snoop Dogg could add luster to your crib. Carjacking a BMW may lift your spirits.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) If dissed in a social situation, shoot somebody. A new gold tooth boosts your confidence. Wear baggy clothes to hide your stash.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Don’t let being oppressed by the man dampen your spirits. A quiet evening with the crack pipe could bring revelations. Prison may be in your future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Pop a cap in somebody’s ass at a house party. Flash extra gold chains to gain respect from your crew. Intimidate anyone you don’t know.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Use a condom if bangin’ some junkie brother’s ho. Act hard so no one mess with you. It’s a good evening to get down with your bad self.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) An unexpected visit by the vice squad takes you off the street for a while. An ice pick could prove useful in a tense situation. Chill.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Reach inside your jacket whenever someone look at you. If busted, don’t take the rap for no punk-ass homey. Relax with some gin and juice this evening.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Wipe your prints off your 9 after you finish capping some G. Expanding your rap sheet could lead to incarceration. Drop some hood rat and take his Air Jordans.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) An intimate moment with some other crew’s freak could lead to payback. If some drunk-ass G gets in your face, tell him to step off. Leather gloves may come in handy.

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