Cerebral hemorrhoids linked to Fox News

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Regular exposure to Fox News may cause intellectual anemia, brain damage and even cerebral hemorrhoids, according to a new study by University of Maryland.

The study confirmed what many have long suspected, that Fox News rots your brain with agenda-driven propaganda and ultimately leads to a cruel form of dementia called Rupert Murdoch Syndrome. A spokesman responded that Fox News’ logo is “fair and balanced.”

Some are now calling for a warning label in the lower left corner of particularly misleading Fox News broadcasts. Possible sample text: “The Surgeon General has determined that Glenn Beck’s program contains harmful, toxic levels of misinformation, propaganda, arsenic, rat feces and tar.”

Other side effects of prolonged exposure to Fox News may include degenerative ideological sclerosis, electile dysfunction and restless middle-finger syndrome.

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