Feb. 12: Abraham Lincoln


bd-lincolnAbraham Lincoln (1809-1965): 16th president, freed all peoples to have drunken sex in his epic speeches the “Intoxication Proclamation” and the “Fornication Proclamation.”

Other Feb. 12 birthdays:

Charles Darwin (1809-1882): scientist, many skeptics pooh-poohed the theory of evolution he set forth in “On the Origin of Feces.”

Maud Adams, 70: actress, starred in the Woody Allen/James Bond movie, “What’s New, Octopussy?”

Christina Ricci, 35: actress, played Wednesday Addams in “Friday Night Lights,” “Saturday Night Fever” and “Any Given Sunday.”

This Day in Revisionist History:

On this day in 1733, English settlers led by Captain Crunch founded the city of Battle Creek, Michigan.

On this day in 1999, the Senate voted to acquit President Clinton of perjury and obstruction of justice, but found him guilty of truth-fudging and intern-banging.

Today’s Quote:

“Why can’t you be more like that Lincoln boy.” – Bill Clinton’s mother


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