Blow your mind!

Yes, worldwide fascination over the color of a cheap dress in a crappy photograph reportedly “broke the Internet” this week. Now try the mind-blowing viral color test created in response to this amazing phenomenon! (See answers below) Answers If you said “yellow and gold” … You have an excellent grasp of the obvious but lack an awareness of the bigger picture. If you said “blue and black” … You are a night-brain, non-conformist likely plagued by debilitating vision problems. If you said “that’s somebody’s frigging pee” … You are somewhat perceptive but still highly vulnerable to ever-present Internet foolishness. If you said “please stop this” … congratulations, you’re starting to get sick of hearing about the latest stupid viral thing that “broke the Internet.” Share *   *   * FAKE ADS:   Ask your doctor if you are healthy enough for Kim Kardashian’s fabulous new sex pill.   Play hardball against insomnia! Read about this  controversial new horsehide-based miracle cure for chronic sleeplessness.   50 Cent introduces new cologne … 50 Scent...

Brady’s back

Featured here is the work of my brother-in-law Bob Sprankle, who is an iPhone photography wizard. The man possesses mad skills. I find his work visually captivating, thought-provoking and deeply inspiring (but I may be biased because he’s a helluva guy).  ...

Kardashian drug ad

This all started when the following thought popped into my head: Gender Nonspecific Penile Disassociative Syndrome is the new erectile dysfunction. This, of course, led to creating a whole bunch of sexual disorders and maladies — and inventing a miracle drug to cure them (with a long list of ridiculous side effects, of course). Naturally, Kim Kardashian wanted on board immediately. — John Breneman Tweet...

OBIT: Bin Laden, 54, evildoer...

OBITUARIES: Osama bin Laden — long considered the world’s biggest asshole — died suddenly today. He was 54. The world’s second-biggest asshole, Donald Trump, said he was honored to assume the title, as the Internet exploded with reports of Trump demanding to see bin Laden’s death certificate. U.S. forces raided bin Laden’s swanky Pakistan hideout, where the cowardly terror kingpin was identified by facial recognition — immediately followed by facial receiving of American bullets, bitch. His identity was confirmed by fingerprints, DNA and the “Martyrs Do it in the Afterlife” tattoo on his left bicep. Also killed in the U.S. offensive, bin Laden’s turban stylist, his longtime manicurist and his beloved hamster, Mr. Nibbles. Born in into a wealthy family in Saudi Arabia, bin Laden is remembered as an academic prodigy at the elite terror academy, Jihad Prep. Recalled one former instructor, “By the time Osama reached sixth grade he was already hating America at a ninth-grade level.” A past president of the Fraternal Order of Spineless Terrorists Local 666, bin Laden rose to prominence as host of the popular Saudi game show “Who Wants to Murder an Infidel.” Long criticized for perverting the peaceful Muslim religion, bin Laden reportedly spent two hours a day praying for a bowel movement and another three hours playing Sudoku. In his spare time he enjoyed needlepoint, watching “Jersey Shore” reruns and picking dung beetles out of his mangy beard Widely credited with brainwashing even more gullible morons than Glenn Beck, he also enjoyed plotting the destruction of humanity and grooving to the music of Barry Manilow. Other hobbies included firing automatic weapons on grainy, homemade videotapes and spending “quiet time” with his donkeys. Friends say he will be remembered as a role...