Rob Zombie not actual zombie, sources say

Rock musician Rob Zombie, one of the nation’s best-known bogeymen and a role model for a generation of young mutants, is not an actual zombie, according to unconfirmed reports. In fact, documents reveal that Zombie is not even Mr. Zombie’s real name. Born...

Cerebral hemorrhoids linked to Fox News

Regular exposure to Fox News may cause intellectual anemia, brain damage and even cerebral hemorrhoids, according to a new study by University of Maryland. The study confirmed what many have long suspected, that Fox News rots your brain with agenda-driven propaganda...

50 Scent

Imagine the dangerous aroma of a freshly fired 9 milimeter semiautomatic handgun. Blend in the rich, bling-tastic bouquet of a burlap sack stuffed with $100 bills. Now add an audaciously naughty whiff of skanky ghetto gold-digger. Introducing 50 Scent — a...

Al Qaeda Inc. fiscal report shows Q4 loss

  Al Qaeda Inc. (NYSE: AQI) reported a 12.6% drop in revenues for the fourth quarter of the fiscal year, but an annual report released today assures shareholders that senior-level executives remain committed to their bid for a hostile takeover of humanity.  ...

King Tut rules!

Sphinx News is reporting that a surprise political coup has brought about the return to power of one-time pharoah King Tut. Polls reveal that “the ladies love his style” while male constituents respond favorably to unconfirmed reports that he once...